I’m desperately trying to piece you back together
my hands shake in nervous, desperate tremors,
bloody from the cuts your sharp edges left.
Its like I’m lost and I’m trying to make my way back to you,
but someone closed the doors, dusted the footprints off and ate the bread crumbs
I cant fix you, please tell me how to fix you!
I’ve been fumbling frantically over your bloodstained mangled body for days now.
No, that’s not it! I think I came close this time..
but my memory of what you were and how you looked is chewed up between
the sleep deprivation and stress
I want it to be over with, the glue wont stick.
I tried sleeping but the day just plays over in my head
hands shuffling pieces, sticky with blood and glue
I should of known when the cracks started showing
that I was breaking you,
not using you correctly.
I skipped the manual, left it unread, confident
that my brain would pick it up along the way
and though I didn’t know what I was doing, my pride wouldn’t
let me admit it.
Love looked intuitive. Everyone was doing it and I didn’t
realize that most of them were doing a shitty job at it
until now. I loved you to seem fashionable,
not realizing that it wasn’t the proper way to love
I mishandled your heart, didn’t follow your careful instructions
when you lent it to me.
Just pretended I was listening
And I’ve made a mess of it and you.
The roof around my cardboard box is gone
withered apart into shards and splinters
And I’ve been nursing your broken heart since
the start of winter
with my hands covered in scars, blood and blisters
And I just cant heal you and I cant love you enough – I,
I’ve been trying but I cant get myself back together again,
No matter how much I try