Shards and splinters (The roof is gone)

I’m desperately trying to piece you back together

my hands shake in nervous, desperate tremors,

bloody from the cuts your sharp edges left.

Its like I’m lost and I’m trying to make my way back to you,

but someone closed the doors, dusted the footprints off and ate the bread crumbs

I cant fix you, please tell me how to fix you!

I’ve been fumbling frantically over your bloodstained mangled body for days now.

No, that’s not it! I think I came close this time..

but my memory of what you were and how you looked is chewed up between

the sleep deprivation and stress

I want it to be over with, the glue wont stick.

I tried sleeping but the day just plays over in my head

hands shuffling pieces, sticky with blood and glue

I should of known when the cracks started showing

that I was breaking you,

not using you correctly.

I skipped the manual, left it unread, confident

that my brain would pick it up along the way

and though I didn’t know what I was doing, my pride wouldn’t

let me admit it.

Love looked intuitive. Everyone was doing it and I didn’t

realize that most of them were doing a shitty job at it

until now. I loved you to seem fashionable,

not realizing that it wasn’t the proper way to love

I mishandled your heart, didn’t follow your careful instructions

when you lent it to me.

Just pretended I was listening

And I’ve made a mess of it and you.

The roof around my cardboard box is gone

withered apart into shards and splinters

And I’ve been nursing your broken heart since

the start of winter

with my hands covered in scars, blood and blisters

And I just cant heal you and I cant love you enough  – I,

I’ve been trying but I cant get myself back together again,

No matter how much I try

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